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How to Be An Alpha Male – Best Traits & How to Learn Them

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The Alpha Male, a man’s man, a warrior, the confident one, king of the hill. It doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s a leader. He’s the guy others look to for motivation, inspiration, and often with a hint of jealousy. He’s the man women want, and guys want to be.

The actual definition of an alpha male is the dominant in a particular group. The alpha tends to assume a dominant role in situations.

But How Do You Become An Alpha Male?


We’ll get to that but first, we must realize why man and women are curious about all the alpha male traits.

A huge part of being an alpha male is that you carry yourself in a confident and assertive manner. One of human’s most powerful qualities is a person’s authority or leadership and an alpha male exerts this out of every pore in his body.

You ever walk into a bar, or a club, or any kind of social gathering and you can just feel yourself looking at a guy (no homo) just because you can tell how confident he is? That’s this factor right here.

You can probably think of some actors that are alpha males (at least what we see). Some examples are Ryan Reynolds, Brad Pitt, The Rock, or any James Bond character. All of these guys have that magnetic factor I’m talking about.

Alpha Male Images

Now with women… women have the ability to read body language and facial features better than guys. In some cases, women can tell when a guy’s upset before a guy even knows.

Science has shown us that women can read body language two or three times better than men. Guys are also starting to pick up on this but instead of improving their body language and alpha male characteristics, they hide within their shell and show weaker traits which some people call beta characteristics.

Alphas come in the human world but are more known in the animal world. Lions and wolves are big in this. The good news is in the animal world in most cases the “right to be alpha” is either passed down or given to the biggest animal in the pack.

This helps because this means almost anyone can be an alpha male. You just have to adopt the right mental state. To get the picture, we must first go through the traits that betas (and maybe you) possess and then learn how to switch them.

Alpha Vs. Beta

alpha males vs beta males

Here Are Some Traits of Beta Males:

Needy and Clingy

We know that women find beta males less attractive so when a beta male does get attention from a girl, he clings to her and becomes super needy. Most of us have done this before.

We find a girl we don’t think we can keep so instead of acting normal you try to always be with her, nagging her and ultimately pushing her away.

There’s another side to this and that is the overprotective guy. We all know this guy. The one where his girlfriend goes to the bathroom in a restaurant and he watches every step to make sure she’s not looking at someone or getting looked at.

Then if it does happen, he’ll be yelling under his breath the rest of the meal while she’s picturing any way to get out of this relationship. Don’t be fooled. This is just as needy and insecure as the clingy guy.

Lacks Confidence

This is the one most people think of when they think of someone who is not an alpha. He lacks the confidence to approach women, be outgoing at work or progress in his life which is basically the alpha male definition.

One of the things alphas do well is they are optimistic about life and know they can handle anything that comes at them throughout the day. Betas make excuses for why they can’t do tasks even when they probably could handle it just to avoid conflict.

An example of this is asking your girlfriend or date for encouragement or approval non-stop. If a beta can’t even pick a restaurant or plan a date confidently, then how can women trust him to go the next level.

Shy Guy

Follower Mentality

One of the biggest tells of whether a guy is an alpha or a beta is their take on leadership. Betas cannot be leaders no matter what. They don’t like it and they don’t have that magnetic quality I mentioned earlier.

This is something I’ve always found about me and gave me more confidence. I was the captain of my baseball team in high school, the leader out of my group of friends, always in charge during my school projects and many other things.

The thing was I never asked to be in these positions but it always turned out that way because since high school I’ve carried myself in the alpha way. I also did not shy away from these positions when they came my way. That might be your problem. Maybe you magnetically get these opportunities but you’re not confident enough to handle them. We’ll get to how to overcome that.

So What If You Have Some of These Beta Traits?

Maybe you display one of these traits or maybe you have all of them. Either way, below we will talk about some alpha male characteristics and how to be an alpha male in a relationship and in your life.

Alpha Male Characteristics 

Now that you understand beta traits, it’s time to become an alpha. You can do these simple steps to start transitioning into the top dog you want to be.

Learn to Be Confident

To some people, this is as hard as telling them to learn to speak Chinese or fly an airplane but confidence (not cockiness) is an important part of being an alpha. It’s that attractive, almost magnetic quality that many of us have seen before.

We can write a whole post on how to become more confident (I’m writing it down on my content calendar) but I can walk you through a couple tips right here to get you started.

  • Change your body language and image.
    • Stand up straight
    • Maintain eye contact
    • Speak slower and more assertive
    • Work on pulling your shoulders back
  • Gain Knowledge and Experience.
    • It sounds simple but the more you know something the more confident you’ll carry yourself. When you started riding a bike or swimming, you weren’t confident you could do it. Now you are. Now imagine speaking on stage or approaching someone in a club. Only gets easier with knowledge and experience.
  • Stay away from negativity
    • Maybe the simplest one but also the most important. If you have any friends or family members that pick on you, or put you down, this tears at your confidence. Even a small break can make a big difference and help you make strides.
Confident Guy

Become Ambitious

An alpha male has to come with ambition and success. This doesn’t mean you have to be a millionaire but it does mean you have to have goals, dreams, and keep getting better towards them. You won’t find an alpha content with just spending the rest of their life as a fast food worker.

Set some goals, take some risks, learn to focus on getting better daily, and stay committed to your success. When it comes to women, most of the time (some women are outliers) you focusing on your career, especially if you’re building something yourself, is sexy to them.

They don’t want your attention all the time and when you can focus on doing something productive with your time it makes them want you even more than when you’re just hanging out with them watching Netflix.

Be ambitious by learning about travel hacking and how to fly and stay in hotels for free. 

Listen to some of the Best Ted Talks and learn something new that you can use in your everyday life. 

With ambitious people, they can achieve anything they want. They don’t let fear hold them back and they create goals and stay committed to them which is a trait of alpha males.

Take Care of Your Body and Your Looks

Not all alpha males need to look like John Cena but you’ll find that most of them don’t look like contestants on the biggest loser. You should be in peak physical shape or working towards it to be an alpha male. You need to be strong, athletic, and aesthetically pleasing.

An alpha male also has style. He doesn’t walk out of his house every day wearing sweatpants and a white tee. He knows how to wear many different outfits and looks good on them. He still dresses like a man though and doesn’t take four hours to get ready.

A place that I get a lot of advice on things like this is on the Alpha M YouTube channel.

Alpha M Channel

Knows How to Be Social 24/7.

I’ll lose many introverts here, but I assure you don’t leave yet. I’m a huge introvert so I know this could be a big turnoff for most and I promise introverts can do this too

To be an alpha male, you don’t have to be the life of the party. You just have to be able to speak when spoken to. Back in my partying days, this was one of my big things. I’d stand in some spots and just people watch. Still standing tall and confident, most of the time with one or two of my friends right there.

But we didn’t look like the school kids missing the dance because a girl didn’t want them. We looked like we were enjoying ourselves and that made it almost more intriguing at parties.

Most of the times with being social it’s not about showing weakness. You must stay calm under pressure. Alpha males remain calm and rational in all situations including social ones.

Learning social skills could be one of the most important things you’ll ever learn because it will be used for dating, your career, traveling, networking and more. Basically any part of advancing your life, you’ll have to deal with people socially so getting better at it should be a big priority.

Don’t Follow the Crowd

One of the most important things, when you think about alphas, is that they do things their own way. They have their own passions and don’t let others tell them how to do it. A true alpha doesn’t need a crowd to go with them to go for something.

Take The Rock for example. He wakes up at 3:30 every morning to start his workouts. He does cardio for an hour, eats breakfast, then spends an hour and a half to two hours in the gym. This isn’t something you’ll find some people doing.

But Dwayne Johnson doesn’t need people to help him get there. He knows what needs to get done and gets himself there. One of my favorite quotes from him fits this post well.

"Success isn't overnight. It's when everyday you get a little better than the day before. It all adds up." This quote fits becoming an alpha male and All Day Progress perfectly.

Rock Working Out

Now It's Your Turn

Just because you don’t currently possess alpha male traits doesn’t mean you can’t become an alpha male. Hopefully, this article has helped you identify some of the beta traits you may have and how to transition into some of the alpha male characteristics we mentioned.

Are you trying to become an alpha male? Leave a comment below on your story.